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Cultivating Beauty

“Every beauty which is seen here by persons of perception resembles more than anything else that celestial source from which we all are come.”
~ Michelangelo, 16th-century Italian Artist & Poet


What is it?

How do you recognize it?

How do you know if you have it?

What does it feel like?

These are all seemingly simple questions. But when you try to answer them it becomes clear that they are nearly as deep and penetrating as “What is the meaning of life?” So take a minute to think about what makes a person beautiful.

Think of somebody that you find to be a beautiful person.

Are you thinking of a physical attribute? Maybe you are. Is it their eyes, their breasts or their smile? Do you admire them for their slim waistline?

I bet you don’t. I bet the “beautiful person” isn’t beautiful to you because they wear Versaci or drive an expensive car. I bet that after your initial thought of their physically appealing attributes you quickly moved on to what truly makes you think this person beautiful.

In fact I’m willing to bet that the person you find beautiful is someone that you find beautiful because they are lovely to be around. Maybe you can always share your thoughts with that person, maybe they make you laugh a lot, maybe they inspire you with their confidence. But their beauty isn’t about their perfect pearly whites. It’s about their spirit, their energy, their kindness.

Isn’t it?

So, now that we’ve established that beauty isn’t a superficial attribute but involves our spirit and its outward manifestation, the personality, let’s look at how you can cultivate this kind of lasting beauty.

Accept Pleasure

Most folks think of modern humans as pretty darn self-centered and greedy. But this is only a generalization put forth by those in a bitter state-of-mind. Individually, humans tend to fluctuate between being too self-serving and too giving. This giving nature can also be reflected as too much giving-in.

I want you to accept pleasure, personal pleasure and sexual pleasure. Expect pleasure n your life, allow yourself to experience joy at your own accomplishments, no matter how small.

We tend to belittle our own achievements as a way of trying not to seem too conceited. We reach a goal or manifest an intent and instead of allowing it fill us up with positive energy, we immediately begin thinking about the next thing that we have to do. As if stopping to enjoy our triumph will someone slow our progress towards some unknown success.

With food and drink, we rush through a meal or pay attention to the television while we eat instead of savoring the taste and texture of our food. Let the chocolate cake melt in your mouth. Let it just sit there on your tongue while you are flooded with its rich and creamy flavor. Do this with the wine and the cheese too. Allow yourself to experience the pleasure that it brings you.

Don’t think about the fat and the calories of your food. Make the decision of what you will eat in a completely mindful way and then let all supposed negatives that may be attached to it simply Go. Don’t ingest that negativity.

The same goes for sex. There are so many negatives tied up in this one act that it is not surprising that modern people find it very difficult to receive any pleasure, even in the act of being pleasured.

But looked at from a different point-of-view sex can fill us up with energy, raw pure energy. This makes us feel more confident with ourselves, walk with a bounce in our step and smile just a little more easily at the beauty and quirkiness of this world.

See sex as a viable and natural way to recharge your batteries. Know that the other person and you are ONE. We are one with everything on this planet, but sex is an affirmation of that. It is a co-mingling of energies, of life force. The process can be one where their negatives and your positives, as well as your negatives and their positives, link together to create a spark.

They have willingly allowed you to connect with them, to pleasure them and be pleasured by them. By attaching to this exciting coupling any negatives that are not really there, such as past experiences with this person or other people, or by doing this natural act the injustice of attaching guilt to it, you rob yourself and the other person of its pleasure. This person is not expecting anything of you other than to be there with them in the moment, so be there and allow the pleasure in.

When we allow ourself to experience pleasure and when we expect pleasure to come into our life, a very strange thing happens….we walk around looking pleased a lot more often. And that is beautiful.

Keep Learning

There is nothing more unattractive than ignorance. When I see a person who has so obviously allowed themself to stagnate, I am saddened for that person but also turned off on a possible relationship immediately.

Your brain is a muscle just like any other in your body and as they say, if you don’t use it you lose it. Keeping fit is beautiful, there’s no doubt about that, but this goes for your mind as well as your physique.

If you don’t keep challenging yourself to learn new things you begin to feel stifled. You begin to ask yourself, as you get older, what if? “What if I had taken that photography class instead of buying myself the video game console? Maybe I would have a great portfolio built up by now instead of the all-time top score on Pole Position.” (Okay very old reference there, but you get the point.)

I’m not saying that you need to work towards becoming the next Einstein in your spare time. I am saying that to reach a plateau, one where you are talented at all that you do whether it be work or hobbies or spiritual gifts, and then to not take on a new element that you aren’t good at yet, is to accept mediocrity. This sends a signal to your brain that says “No more workout for you, I’m happy with staying put right here.”

This in turn sends a signal to the world and the people around you that “What you see is what you get. Some people adapt and change but I don’t plan on being one of them.” And that, is not beautiful.

What is beautiful is a person who is excited by something. A person who speaks passionately about their pursuits is someone who appears to have it all together, to really be interested in life and in their own development. That is more beautiful than nearly anything else.

So keep learning. Read a book on a new subject. Take a class in something that you’ve always wanted to try. Join a new club or walk up and talk to someone who does something you don’t know anything about. You’ll be amazed how much you learn.


Many people can be heard talking but what is rarer is those who cannot be heard, because they are listening.

A great listener is a valuable friend indeed. We all need to be heard sometimes, it validates for us that we have thoughts which are worth listening to.

We can get advice from lots of people, but most of them are giving advice without fully understanding our situation. This is because they haven’t listened. So they tend to give inappropriate and even plain bad advice.

The human instinct is to try and relate to others. So we cut them off and we begin to tell our own similar story of being in the same harrowing situation.

We do this partially to try and comfort them, to say “I’ve been through it and I’m alright now.” But we also do this because our Ego wants us to be the biggest whatever in the room, the biggest success, the biggest know-it-all, the biggest sad and sorry person. The Ego doesn’t care what the topic is, it is the best, hands down.

What this does is negate the feelings of the other person who is trying to use you as a sounding board, an outlet to voice their own ideas and misgivings about their situation.

It is very difficult to listen. Because listening does not only require silence and attention to the words being spoken to you by your friend, but it also requires you to silence the inner dialog, the Ego, and to fight the urges that it is flooding your mind with.

Don’t give in. Let this moment be about the other person. Fight the urge to turn it to “me, me, me.”

As I said it is not a simple task, but those who manage to practice it anyway are very beautiful people indeed.

Affirm Yourself

Who are you? What do you see as your positive qualities? How do those equate to your physical body?

I want you to complete these sentences:

I am a great_________________.

I help others by ___________________________.

I am very talented at ______________________.

I have always been a good ________________.

I am a total success at __________________________.

Now fill these in with a body part:

My __________________ helps me to helps others.

This ____________________ is a tool for my success.

My greatness is strengthened by the use of my ________________.

I have fantastic ____________________.

I see my talents reflected in my ___________________.

I am grateful that I have healthy _____________.

So, why affirm yourself?

Because a person who is aware of their own talents in an active way is a person who is more confident in those talents. Confidence is beautiful

Also, a person who is more confident in their talents is more apt to use those talents to help others. To be generous and helpful is definitely beautiful.

Think more about what makes you unique. What makes you who you are? What makes you great?

Keep these thoughts in your head. Take the sentences that you’ve filled in above and step before a mirror.

You can do this naked or clothed but I prefer naked.

Look yourself in the eyes. Tell yourself that the person in there is unique because________ and great because _________. Use the first group of filled-in sentences to affirm who you are and why you are special. Look at your face, your hair, your body.

Look at how you stand, how your lips move when you are speaking. This is the representation of your inner spirit. There is no blame here. There is no shame. Your physique is not at issue here. Your self is what we are dealing with…inside and out as a reflection of your uniqueness. There are only positives.

When you arrive at the second group of sentences, touch the body parts that you listed. Touch your head, touch your arms. Spread your hands out wide. Run your fingers along your calves. Pat your stomach. Memorize how these parts of you look and feel.

Through this exercise we are accepting our talents and connecting them to “me.” We are acknowledging that the mind, the spirit and the body are all working in coordination to make us the whole and completely beautiful individual that we are.

You can repeat this exercise over and over again in order to get to know yourself better. You should begin to KNOW that you are beautiful, not just HOPE that you are.

Continuing On…

Let these ideas sink in for a little while. Think about what beauty means to you and what ideas you can take from above to develop your own beauty even further.